Proofreading

So, you hired a translator for your website. You were very happy at the beginning but after a few weeks… You began to receive loads of emails: people are complaining about the quality of the Italian version of your website.

Bad translations, full of inaccuracies (in grammar, vocabulary, spelling, punctuation, SEO, and Tone Of Voice), represent a huge marketing mistake. If the translations are wrong, sound unnatural, and are difficult to understand for native-Italian speakers, they will not buy your products. 

Indeed, according to a Common Sense Advisory Survey, 72.1% of consumers spend most or all of their time on websites in their own languages and 56.2% of consumers said that the ability to obtain information in their own language is more important than price. This explains the importance of investing in website localization and that’s why I’d love to come forward with my services.

Here is a sample of how I can help you improve the Italian version of your website, blog, book, etc. I also added a few comments below to explain why the previous Italian translation didn’t work.

English ItalianItalian – NEW
⁽¹⁾WOMEN’S XXX™ SHOES⁽¹⁾XXX™ SCARPE DONNA⁽¹⁾SCARPE DONNA XXX™ 
⁽²⁾Combining a 3D carbon fibre footplate, midsole rocker geometry and X™ grip, our new VECTIV™ technology is designed to maximise energy on the trail. And the XXX™ Shoes are the most responsive in our ⁽3elite trail running range. Light and ⁽4energy giving they are tried, tested and trusted by our athletes. Made for ⁽5ultra-distances, they’re incredibly durable thanks to X®, polyamide and X® fabrics, and reinforced toe caps. The knit uppers are breathable and supportive and the 6mm toe-to-heel offset ⁽6propels you into your next gait cycle. The design ⁽7⁾- by ultra-trail runner Travis Weller – is inspired by the Western States 100, with colours ⁽8reflecting the dusty orange trails and ⁽9deep pine forests from the canyon ⁽10section of the race⁽²⁾Unendo un inserto 3D in fibra di carbonio, un’intersuola rocker e un grip X™, la nostra tecnologia VECTIV™ è progettata per massimizzare l’energia lungo il percorso. Le scarpe XXX™ sono il prodotto più reattivo nella nostra gamma ⁽3élite di trail running. Leggere ed ⁽4energiche, sono state provate, testate e approvate dai nostri atleti. Realizzate per le ⁽5ultra distanze, sono incredibilmente resistenti grazie ai tessuti in X®, poliammide e X®, e al puntale rinforzato per le dita. La tomaia a maglie è traspirante e di sostegno, mentre l’offset di 6 mm tra il tallone e la punta ⁽6ti spinge verso il tuo prossimo passo. Il design ⁽7 creato dal runner ultra-trail Travis Weller  è ispirato alla Western States 100, con colori che ⁽8riflettono la polvere arancione dei sentieri e le ⁽9profonde pinete dei canyon. ⁽10La nostra tecnologia VECTIV™ ⁽²⁾unisce un inserto in fibra di carbonio, un’intersuola rocker e il grip X™: la formula perfetta per massimizzare l’energia sul percorso. Le scarpe XXX™ sono le più reattive tra il nostro ⁽3top di gamma per il trail running. Leggere e ⁽4dinamiche, sono state provate, testate e approvate dai nostri atleti. Progettate per le ⁽5lunghe distanze, sono incredibilmente resistenti grazie ai tessuti in X®, poliammide e X®, e al puntale rinforzato per le dita. La tomaia a maglie è traspirante e di sostegno, mentre l’offset di 6 mm tra il tallone e la punta ⁽6ti accompagna verso il tuo prossimo passo. Il design⁽7⁾, creato dall’ultra-trail runner Travis Weller, è ispirato alla Western States 100: i suoi colori ⁽8rievocano la polvere arancione dei sentieri e le ⁽9fitte pinete dei canyon ⁽10che attraversano il percorso
Comments
TITLE: ⁽¹⁾Normally on original Italian websites (not localized versions) we put “type of product” + “F/M” + “name of product”
PRODUCT DESCRIPTION: ⁽²⁾The “-ing” form (gerund) is not common in Italian. Here “unendo” sounds weird (it’s a calque). It’s better to change the sentence order a bit to make it sound native and easy to read.

3⁾”Élite” in Italian sounds a bit snobbish and could give a wrong image of your brand. I used “top di gamma” which means “the very best selection”.

4⁾I changed “energiche” to “dinamiche” because in Italian we just can’t say that shoes are energetic, it sounds unnatural. We would use “dinamiche” (dynamic) which is a synonym.  

5⁾I changed “ultra” to “lunghe” because even if we know what “ultra trail” is, it sounds weird and unnatural to say “ultra distanze” in Italian. I kept “ultra” in the final part of the description in the sentence “utra-trail runner”, because there it works since it refers to the discipline. 

6⁾”Propels” would literally be “spinge” but it sounds a bit aggressive in Italian in this context, so I chose “accompagna” (it takes you). 

7⁾”-” is not part of Italian punctuation.  

8⁾We have another calque: “riflettono” in Italian has a different meaning than “reflecting” in English. Here we should use another verb like “rievocano” or “ricordano”.

9⁾”Profonde” is another calque. In Italian we wouldn’t say that a forest is “profonda” but “fitta”. 

10⁾Omission of last part could work if there was no way to translate it properly, but here it’s pretty easy so I added it (“che attraversano il percorso”).

If you are a native-Italian speaker, you certainly agree that the revised version sounds way more natural and …simply better.

So, if you want to reach the Italian market in a more effective and result-oriented way and boost your sales in Italy, send me an email to discuss about your project!

I know how to adapt the text so that it sound native and captivating for the Italian audience and I can find the best keywords to reach your Italian clients (I know what they type on Google!). That’s why I am the best choice to translate and localize – or proofread –  your website into Italian!

Send me an email at: nadine.mtt@morethantranslation.com with all the information about your project. I will give you a free quote within 24 hours.

Another proofreading sample here.